Saturday, May 17, 2014

It is all ephemera even when you try to fix it in time...

Thinking today about how desperately we all try to fix things in time. Give it voice. Be remembered. Give it a name. Create legacy. Do something with a lasting effect.  And yet all of that flies in the face of the reality we all live with: mortality. Everything is ephemeral. You. Your children. Everything you create. I spent a great deal of my life convinced that I could make it all matter, create something that would outlast me, but the truth is that we only have this moment. The NOW ends so very quickly. I'm not sure why I still waste NOW creating anything when it is all ephemera.

More than that is something about how everything we glorify, we eventually crack and destroy; something about the continued performances to play as our multiple selves in various roles of life and story thinking they are fixed and constant even though they are constantly changing; something about how whatever we try to fix in time via photograph, recording, image, journal dies at the same moment we create it. Change never stops even when the fixed medium seems to stop time. Something about how our denial of grief and loss, death and dying stops us from seeing the everyday loss of each moment. The moment we snap the image, the beings in it die because change keeps happening, growth keeps happening. You can't fix anything in time. And yet our culture of youth; or perpetually trying to regain the glory days through some product or another; or need to create a legacy that is "bigger than us" and will "outlast" whatever -- well, it all keeps churning to keep us deluded.

That breath you just inhaled reading this -- you are lucky to have it. So many will not have a next one. And soon enough, neither will you. Neither will I.  It is all ephemera. And I can't figure out why we refuse to accept it.

Something like that.

Miracles,
k-

2 comments:

  1. Kara this post is so beautifully written. That is why when I do a piece of art and havd been asked do you archival materials I say absolutely no. Nothing is forever . We often are so busy behind our computers phones etc clicking the NOW we miss the moment. I have decided to turn away from it all not all the time as I want to keep in tpuch with certain ones but my life is now in this ever fleeting mind LOL kudos to you for always being real and always kind
    ANg

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    1. Thanks so much, ANg, for sharing your thoughts, too. The days and my mind, too, seem more fleeting than ever and omgosh YES I just want big blocks of time away from anything that beeps or buzzes :) Interesting perspective on the archival materials!! I think about that a lot actually -- you know we have pieces from the "old masters" and such in museums and all -- and I don't think many of them knew the buzz word "archival" so why are we so obsessed with it... that kind of thing. Anyway, sending you the biggest looooves! <3

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