Notes of a Dancer," was still in the jam series because though I was showing something typically considered beautiful, it was imposed on a stained paper background to say something about the blood, sweat, and tears that go into what we all finally see. This piece in today's post is about taking the typical fashion plate icon you see with pointe shoes and flipping it to insert a plus size image which is often so fat-shamed in our culture even though, of course you can plainly see, just as much beauty is here as in any other figure.
All this is just a continuation of my sitting with the idea that all we have is now, so why do I bother to create things when legacy, tangibility, all that is myth. Because I seemed to thoroughly depress many people with my last post, I did later post a video featuring Sharon Olds as an antidote of sorts. In there she talks a lot about why she creates. In particular, she shares about creating as a piece of comfort, a message in a bottle, that hopefully touches another being, and that's something. I get that. And another friend posted to me saying that comforting another soul is something, it is not ephemeral. I get that, too.
But I guess, just for me personally, at this juncture, I'm really sitting with the places of discomfort. That's one of the reasons the weird collage art has been speaking to me so loudly. They purposely leave us discomforted. Something in that grabs me just now and has me considering creativity, the process, what we create, why. It may be that I'm very taken at the moment also with much of the monastic Buddhist stuff whereby the notion of letting go and giving up really is about giving up worldly stuff and being. Even someone like the Peace Pilgrim makes me ponder all this. I mean she did eventually let others come in and help to create things like a book, website, other teachers -- all that has outlived her. But there was a point in her life where she gave up all creation and all worldly things to simply walk. What is that happens to people who choose something like that? What is the final discomfiture that sent them to that decision to just walk? Or to give up clothes, food, shelter and simply meditate in the forest for the rest of their lives?
Of course all that is balanced for me with the total other extreme that says, "Who cares? It's a beautiful day out, so lets just go to the beach!" Which is another way of being in the NOW and not creating. Looked over usually because it doesn't discomfort. But nevertheless, it is another way of BEing.
Anyway, I don't know. I don't have answers. Only more questions. Every single day. More questions. Or more not caring about the questions even. But just so you know, lovie loves, I wasn't trying to thoroughly depress you! It's just the pondering of discomfort in the process of creation. Pondering that the discomfort of grief sent me to creativity in a big way. Part of the culture jam idea anyway, you know? So that's that for now. Happy thinking -- or not thinking -- creating -- or not creating :)